In the words of Maya Angelou, “I got my own back”!
Although it’s all well and good being a strong independent individual, it’s also nice to have some support from others. You’d expect your family and friends to be your biggest supporters, but unfortunately this may not always be the case, as I have learnt in the last year that I have been blogging.
I want to first shout out those friends who have been supporting and encouraging me from day one.
Thank you for every time you brainstormed with me. Thank you for every word of encouragement and support. Thank you for subscribing to my blog and for every like, comment, retweet and share. It doesn’t go unnoticed; I appreciate it all so much. Â So thank you to my friends (y’all know who you are) and my new friends (my fellow bloggers and my readers). I love you guys! ??
Anyway enough with all that mushy stuff lol.
I am so grateful and blessed to have friends who support my blog. However, I also have a number of friends who I know have never been on my blog and probably never will.
https://twitter.com/YearofYou_/status/825380009317691394
I remember seeing the tweet above on twitter and it really resonated with my situation. I had started to question the friendships of those who didn’t support me. So yes, I was fast to like and retweet it lol.
Over the year that I have been blogging, my blog has come to mean so much to me. And so when my friends were not supporting my passion, it hurt.
In an attempt to try and understand why a friend would not support your blog, I tried to look at it from their perspective and here’s a few excuses reasons (no shade ??) that I came up with:
? They’re busy –Â this sounds like the worse excuse ever, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t true or valid. I’m at an age where many of my friends are engaged, married and/or have kids, they also have jobs (some even have more than one job). So yes, they are very busy people.
? They have no interest in your blogs subject matter – You’re bound to have friends who have completely different interests than you, so it won’t be surprising that they find it hard to read your blog when the topics hold no interest to them. I have no interest in engineering for example and if one of my friends had a blog on this, to be honest I probably wouldn’t read it. However, I would find others way to support their blog.
? They don’t like to read – While I am a certified bookworm, some people just never take to reading. So should you really try to force a friend who doesn’t like to read to read your blog?
? They’re insecure –Â You’re friends insecurities may be what’s holding them back from supporting you. They see you working hard on your passion and chasing them dreams and they’re jealous. They’re jealous because maybe they’re stuck doing a job they hate and they don’t know how to or are too afraid to follow their own dreams.
? They’re going through a hard time –Â Maybe they are stressed or overwhelmed with something that’s occurred in their life and are in need of your support. Friendship is a two way street after all.
? You aren’t as close as you used to be –Â Sometimes friends just drift apart, it’s a part of life. Maybe it will take their lack of support for you to realise that you aren’t as close as you used to be.
Regardless of whether you’re willing to accept any of these reasons or not, in order to be successful you need to focus more on yourself and less on others.
Over time I have gotten to a point where I don’t let it affect me anymore. It is what it is. Yes, it is disappointing, but you can’t let the lack of support from a few friends stop you from reaching your potential.
Ultimately, we need to be our own biggest supporter. As much as it would be nice to have some support, you need to be able to rely on yourself. At the end of the day, this is your blog, your passion and dream. You are the one who has to make it come to fruition.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t get support or help, because we all need a helping hand at one time or another. However it is better to have a small circle of friends who passionately cheer you on, than to have a big group who halfheartedly support you not because they want to, but because it is expected of them.
Regardless of the size of your cheerleading squad, you have to be the head cheerleader. If you don’t believe in yourself and cheer yourself on, then no matter how supportive the rest of the squad is, you won’t get very far. Your success depends on you.
Here’s a tweet that I saw the other day that says it perfectly! No more negativity, I’m focusing on the positives. So yes, I was very fast to like and retweet it lol.
You don't need a huge tribe to get where you're going.
Focus on the few that fuel your soul, encourage your drive, & champion your dreams.— Tiffany Nicole (@HiTiffanyNicole) March 28, 2017
So do I think your friend should support your blog? Yes, definitely! That’s what friendship is about, supporting and uplifting one another. However if the blog content or reading is an issue, there are always other ways to support. For example simply retweeting a tweet or asking them how their blog is going can show that you care.
Do I think that if your friend doesn’t support your blog they are not really your friend?
This I am a bit more on the fence about. I’ve decided to just focus on reaching my goals. I will continue to appreciate the friends who support me and for the ones not supporting me? I won’t let it bother me.
I would love to know your opinions on this subject, so please share your views in the comments!
Do you think that if your friends don’t support your blog or passion, that they are not your friend? How have you dealt with a lack of support from your family and friends?
This blog post was inspired by one of my blogger friend’s post – Be your #1 fan, so make sure you check out her take on this subject!
Well until next time guys. Deuces! ??
Follow my travels as I work towards my goal of visiting 25 countries before I turn 25:
I enjoyed reading this post. I have a friend that supports me 100 % and it feels great. Others just don’t care and I don’t bother changing that. I feel like not supporting your friend is wrong but as you said there may be reasonable reasons for that. If they do it because of jealousy I wouldn’t call them my friends, but lack of time or different interest, that’s something to discuss about ! xx -Nusha (https://nushablog.wordpress.com/)
Thank you for reading my post and sharing your views! I’m really glad to hear that you enjoyed reading it. I definitely agree with you on the jealousy thing – jealousy in any type of relationship is an issue.
xx
That’s awesome! I also have some friends that support me, and it’s so encouraging to hear them come up to me and say “I loved your post!” I will certainly check out your blog! Feel free to check mine out as well 😀 (http://lovekatelynnrose.wordpress.com).
PREACH!!!!!!
Haha, thanks girl! xx
This post hit home! You are right Debbie, just focus on you. I personally do not hold it against people if they don’t support my blog, maybe they aren’t sure what it is about and we need to allow some freedom there. Sometimes the support is there, but they do not act on it like retweeting or sharing your posts, which is also fine. I like it when people take initiative to support, for me that’s the best support because you don’t need to pay for it. It’s only sad if you are the one supporting, but never supported.
Thanks so much for sharing your views!
Yes, I definitely agree with you on that, there are still quite a number of people who just don’t understand the whole blogging thing.
I like when people take the initiative to support you too, it’s not something that I feel you should have to ask for – unless it’s something specific that you need. Yeah it is really sad if you’re the only one doing all the supporting, but if that is the case, then to me they really aren’t my friend.
Well said! I honestly appreciate Debbie’s maturity to point this out and provide new insight! Great post! 😀
Thank you!! 🙂
wow…this post resonates with me so much. Some read and follow others well…at first when i started blogging I was a bit put out that some of my long standing friends were what I felt “ignoring my blog”. I now have decided that if thats the case let it be. Its taken a while to get there. I have gained so many blogging friends since starting my blog and to all those that read, like comment i really do appreciate it. I try and spend so much time each day reading, liking and commenting on blogs that I follow.
Thank you for reading and sharing your views!
I think it’s just something that a lot of bloggers will have to go through – getting to that place where it just doesn’t affect you anymore (or at least not as much as it used to).
Blogging friends are the one! I love the new friendships I’ve made and the community feel in the blogging world.
Aww I love that you take time to read others blogs. I do it too, but I’m trying to do it more this year and to just generally engage more with other bloggers. What’s your social media? I’ll follow you! :)?
I still only have my personal FB page. My instagram is 3sistersabroad . I’m working on doing a FB page for the 3 sisters 🙂
Just followed you on instagram! ?
Thank you so much ?
Followed you right back x
Thanks!
I think about this A LOT! When I first told my friends about my blog I expected them all to be super supportive. For the first day or two they shared links, but ever since, out of the 8 close friends I expect to be most supportive, 2 of them regularly read my content and the others just cba. Mostly their excuse is “I can never remember the URL”. Come on, really?!?!
It bothered me for a while but now I let it fly straight over my head! The 2 who have read it from the start, and continue to read it, as well as my new found online fellow bloggers who actually WANT to read it are of way more value than those who can’t even be bothered to remember 3 words.
I still consider them all friends, but I find myself consciously not wanting to support them in their hobbies and other endeavors, which I know is petty but I don’t even care, I AM petty haha.
Thanks for reading and sharing your experience!
Haha, I’m so with you on the pettiness! I can’t even deny it lol.
It is disappointing when your friends don’t support you, but yeah I definitely agree with you. Support from a small number of friends and some new friends (i.e. fellow bloggers) mean so much more than friends who can’t remember your web address or who feel forced to read your blog. Sorry but I don’t want that kind of negativity around my blog, thank you very much lol.
Thought provoking post indeed, I hope some friends will read it and try to be more supportive or someone gets motivated to keep going even without much support.
Thank you for reading!
Yes I really hope this post helps motivates those who are not getting support from their friends.
Hey great post. Nice page. Good luck with the travels it can be done!!
Check out my page And follow. Thanks!
This post is so thought provoking. It isn’t something I’d put much thought into, but considering it, I think I’m very much on the fence like you are. On the one hand, it can be a little upsetting when friends aren’t interested in something you’ve put hours upon hours of work into, but on the other, it might not be their thing or they may not have time like you said. I’m really lucky that my friends like to talk to me about my blog in real life, even though they don’t have much to do with the online side of things. It’s definitely great to know that your friends in real life are there for you in some way, shape or form, though.
Thank you for reading and sharing your views!
I’m so glad to hear that you can talk to your friends about your blog. I have friends that I can talk to in detail about my blog to the point where we will brainstorm new ideas for my blog. However, I also have friends that may only mention my blog in passing and others who I never even talk to about my. Yeah like you said, it’s great when friends support you in some way or another. I’ve decided to not let the lack of support from some friends affect me anymore.
I really needed to read this! Thank you for sharing such an important post with us. As a new blogger I have felt quiet disappointed at some of my “friends” but after reading this it really elevated me at just focusing on the bigger picture and the small tribe who is behind me for my blog, so once again thank you! Xx
Thanks for reading and I’m really happy to hear that you found it encouraging!
As long as you push yourself and have the support of at least a few friends you will be fine. I love the blogging community because you are able to make such great friendships and over time you will find that small tribe will gradually grow.
Good luck with your blogging! ?
Bloody preach it! #noshade
Haha, thank you!! ?
Great thought-provoking post. I think that it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t your friend if they aren’t actively supporting your work.. I mean, it’s a different story if they don’t listen to you and don’t care about your blog, that isn’t really a “friend” to me. For example, my boyfriend supports my blog and actually pushed me to do it, however, he’s currently busy all the time doing his army training, and doesn’t ever have time to read my blog posts, but I know he supports it, so it’s okay.
He’s there to hear about all my new content and projects, he helps me with ideas, and that’s all that matters!
Thank you for reading and sharing your views! I’m so glad that your boyfriend is so supportive. Even when he’s busy, just knowing that you have his support is just everything! I’m lucky enough to have a small group of friends who are very supportive and encouraging and I don’t know where I’d be without them. Unfortunately not everyone has someone to support, but that’s why I love the blogging community. Everyone is so supportive and I’ve been able to make some really good friends through blogging.
I feel like my friends support me 100% but don’t necessarily ‘get’ blogging so their support doesn’t translate into reading it, commenting, sharing on social media. You’re right that as long as everyone is uplifting each other in the way they do best then you have a solid friendship. Otherwise its best to move on and focus your energy towards building that tribe of superfans.
Yesss exactly! ?? I’m so glad to hear that your friends support, even if it isn’t in the conventional form, any support is better than none and it’s great to know that they care. ?
I loved reading this post. I am in a similar situation where some friends and family members are really supportive but others aren’t. I try not to let it bother me and just get on with it. I like how you say “you have to be head cheerleader” that’s so true. You create your own happiness and so do they.
Xx
Beccy | beccykiernan.co.uk
Thank you for reading and sharing your view Beccy! Yes exactly, don’t let it bother you, just appreciate those who support you and go out and create your happiness! ?
I really enjoyed this. I’m grateful to have the handful of friends and blog sisters who support and show love to no end. For those who don’t it hurts a little at first but as you get consumed in your craft and focused on where you are going you tend to forget about the people who aren’t supporting or cheering you on. I always like to remind myself that even if they don’t show support they still notice the moves you make. Great post!
Heyy sorry for the extremely late response! Thanks for reading and sharing your experience! I’m so glad that you do have a few friends who do support you ! ??
I’ve really enjoyed reading this! So much home truths! Especially as every time I post onto my Facebook in the back of my mind I’m thinking ‘what is the point’ nobody even pays my posts the slightest attention however you’ve reminded me that as much as the support would be great that I am not doing it for them. Your better off using your energy on fuelling your passions and appreciating the few who do she support. Lovely post!
Yasmin xx
http://www.yasmintells.blogspot.co.uk
preach it!!!!!! you just hit the nail on the head
Thank you!! ?
I’m really late but I agree with everything said here. I think Hayley’s tweet is a bit far-fetched as my friends who are aware of my blog may not retweet it or read it as often but they do celebrate my achievements and send messages of encouragement when I lose faith which I believe matters more but as you said, the main focus should be reaching our goals and not be letting non-supporters bother us ?
Your blog is great by the way so jealous of all your holiday travels lol
Sam | http://www.lifestylebyshc.com
Thank you for reading and sharing your views! I think it just depends on the person tbh, everyone will want to be supported in different ways, but either way you always gotta be able to support yourself.
And haha thanks! ?
In the words of Whodini “How many of us have them… FRIENDS” I have friends who have encouraged me to continue posting. They have notice that I took a hiatus and have motivated me to continue. With that being said, Safe to say I have returned. Please check out my blog and let me know what you think.
Thank You.
I’m so glad that your friends have encouraged you to continue with your blog!
Thank you for this! I see it’s from a year ago, but still relevant. I’ve been blogging for 2 years and I still get a little miffed when friends don’t read, like or share my blog, but over time it has dissipated. I totally agree that my focus needs to be on the positive and on continuing my own successful journey and wishing others well on theirs! I’m tempted to not support them too in their ventures, but I then remind myself, that’s not who I am and to get better, not bitter!!!
Thanks for reading Sara! I’m glad you found it helpful!
Hopefully when your friends see you supporting them, they realise that they also need to step up and support you. I wish you all the best with your blog! ?